A Little More Personal: The Dream

I had a dream… a couple years ago.  Lol

So, as I avoid writing (too tired to be creative right now) I started looking through some old docs on my computer and I remembered a dream I had had a number of years ago.  It had been so powerful I felt compelled to write it down.  So I did a little searching and found it!  Wow… it was dated 2/17/2009.  :-/

I’ve copied it below.  As I read this, I couldn’t help but wonder if this will ever happen for me.  My own insecurities say “no”.  I’ve always been a master of self-sabotage and demoralization.  It’s because of this that I crave reassurance and when that reassurance goes missing, the “no”s get louder.  :(

But my needy nature is a topic for a different post.  This is for the dream that will, hopefully, become a reality.  I know it isn’t entirely specific but I wrote this in the bleary moments of the morning (pre-coffee) so I went for the quick and easy description.

Enjoy!

~Nick

My dream:

“In ten years I imagined, during my ups, that I would be married or in some way united with a guy I would call my husband.  We were happy.  I would get home from work before him.  I did not really see where I was working but I knew that I liked it and it was fun.  When he arrived home I would be doing something around the house, a vibrant mix of old homey comfort and super modern design.  He would hold me and kiss me and it was an overwhelming feeling of happiness and sheer joy that would simply envelop me.  Then I saw our daughter, beautiful and intelligent.  She wasn’t afraid to show her love for her parents and would help me in the kitchen making super, yes I was cooking.  She would tell me about her day and we would discuss topics from her classes and issues with her friends.  She was open to me and allowed me to be a part of her life.  This is where time seemed to hop around.  One moment she was a teenager (late high school years) the next she was a toddler.  She was biologically my daughter and even in her early toddler years she had curly brown hair.  I saw her in a cute little dress with ruffles and lace as we were gathering close together to take our picture for our Christmas cards.  Then I saw her at the dinner table in her early teen years introducing her new boyfriend to my husband and me.  I of course knew his parents and respected them so I was comfortable with him.  I trusted her judgment and did not want to pass my own before I had a reason too.  My husband on the other hand, warned him that if he hurt her he would hurt him.  I was out of the room when this happened and so was she but when we came back they both seemed a little tenser.  After dinner, time changed again.  This time we were talking on the phone, my daughter, her husband, my husband, and me.  It was close to the holidays and she would not be coming home for this one.  I was upset but I knew it was for the best.  She was looking to start her own family and I was going to respect that, even though I wished she would reconsider.  My husband took the phone to finish the conversation when I started to cry and held me for a good hour after the call had ended.  Even though we were both much older than when we originally fell in love, our love was still as strong today as it was when we first fell.  His arms still radiated warmth, comfort and safety for me just like they did the first time he wrapped them around me.”