Friday, June 29, 2012

Searching For Stability


Do you ever get that feeling like your focusing on so many things that others sneak by only to rear up and shake you?

That’s what I’m feeling right now.

I have a rather large family (Mom, Step-Dad, Dad, Step-Mom, Older Brother, Younger Step Brother, Younger Half Brother, Younger Half Sister… the holidays are “fun”) and while I’m not super close with them, it surprised me when I talked to my little brother (13 yearrs old) on the phone the other day and I could only marginally recognize his voice.  This is the kid whose diapers I changed when I was 9 years old, who I (under threat of getting grounded) babysat while my Mom and Step-Dad went Christmas present shopping, who I left napping in the living room to go take a bath only to find out, from an irate mother, that he took a nose dive down the basement steps. (The kid is resilient!) 

Another instance:  I got a text from my mom this afternoon that a relative of my Step-Dad is not doing well and may not last the weekend.  All of my memories of this man are really great ones.  He had a great personality and a mind that, despite his age, still thirsted for knowledge.  This kind of caught me off guard because I didn’t even know he was sick!

I could go on but I think you get the picture.

Bottom line, I’m left wondering:    What the F#CK just happened?

I think this stems from two situations.  The first is location.  I live in Chicago and the rest of my family lives elsewhere in Illinois.  Being upwards of 200 miles apart puts a strain on any relationship.
 
The second is my personality.  I’m kind of a weird mix.  I like my alone time but I crave the interpersonal.  I’m the type of person that hates doing something without a friend along for the ride but I can easily sit in my apartment by myself all weekend and write.

Put this together and it begins to make sense.  Then, add in the fact that I wasn’t super close with my family when I went away to school and then moved out altogether and it becomes clearer. 

I don’t visit my family in my home town very often because, while I love them, my life is here (that and its expensive).  Knowing me, if I pined over what was going on down there, I would not be living my life here and that is what is important for me.  Yes, I meant FOR me.  My future is here (at least as far as I can see) in Chicago.  I have a great job, I love where I live, and I’m in the city I’ve dreamt of living in since I first laid eyes on its giant buildings when I was little.

Now, I’m not an altogether heartless brat.  I do text and keep in touch with my mom and chat with my siblings maybe not incredibly often, but often enough.  My Dad and his family live in the ‘burbs so I can more easily visit him and I try to do so at least once a month.  See, I grew up with my Mom and so getting a chance to spend time with my Dad has been great.

Overall, I think this is my stable.  I can’t see everything coming.  I live here and they don’t.  They have lives of their own and I have my life.  I just need to be prepared to be shaken a little every once in a while.  In the same breath though, I should make more of an effort to see my down-state family more often.  In fact, my little brother has a baseball game in one of the ‘burbs coming up this month and I have plans to go watch!  (Can’t Wait!)

So, this shaky, craziness that I seem to find myself in is my new stable.

~Nick

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